Eighth dispostitional blog: Damaged Goods

"...And the worst part is that most of you never meant to hurt us. You probably don’t even remember making fun of us. Every time you rolled your eyes as we passed you in the hall, snickered at our attempts to win your approval, or made us the butt of a joke, you may have believed it was all in good fun. And when you see us today at the mall or the grocery store, you smile and make small talk, unaware of the damage you’ve done. The bully never remembers. The outcast never forgets."

This was said by a speaker who came to share her bullying testimony with the Decorah community; her name was Jodee Blaco.  What Blanco went through in her education years - the bullying and loneliness she expressed in her story - was one of the most depressing things i have listened to in my twenty years of living. 

Today, Jodee explains, bullying is becoming more and more of a problem in our society.  Here are some facts about this recent rise; the come from the American Justice Department.

• 1 out of 4 kids is Bullied. 
• Surveys Show That  77%  of students are bullied mentally, verbally, & physically.
• In a recent study, 77% of the students said they had been bullied. And 14% of those who were bullied said they experienced severe (bad) reactions to the abuse.
• 1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "Bullying."
• 8% of students miss 1 day of class per month for fear of Bullies.
• 43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school.
• 100,000 students carry a gun to school.
• 28% of youths who carry weapons have witnessed violence at home.
• A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools.
• 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.
• More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school.
• Playground statistics - Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention - 4%. Peer intervention - 11%. No intervention - 85%

One of the things she said that really spoke to me was the in the story of how when she was looking for a place to sit at in the lunchroom, no one would offer her to join their table; this forced her to go to table to table asking - begging - people if she could join them.  What she said was that bullying is not just the act of putting someone down, of making fun of them; it is also the act of not helping them - the act of being simply a spectator.  bullying is more than saying the joke, it is also laughing along with the joke without standing up and saying 'enough.' 

I feel like I especially do that a lot; I laugh when im not suppose to.  Most of the time I laugh because other people are laughing, and i laugh when i hear laughter - no matter the amount of humor i find it.  And thats probably not the nicest thing to do, given that it adds to the amount of laughter the person being bullied hears.

I guess what it comes down to is this: good parenting.  If a child learns whats nice and whats not nice from his parents - and punished when he chooses the latter, than less kids are likely to become bullies. 

'Bully' is such a negative word; no one wants to be called a bully.  But in reality, we all do something to someone in which could be considered bully-like.  What we as individuals need to do is minimize such instances.